It’s been almost a month since I made a post. Almost a month till the year ends.  And it’s been six months since dearsalmah went live, I’m grateful for all the friends, readers and bloggers that have stuck with me. Reflections…

Something happened in this month of November that I still don’t fully understand..

I woke up, I went to work and hung out with friends, I laughed and loved and yet somehow my life was on a stand still. I was awake yet I was asleep. So my work suffered, my business suffered, my blog suffered, and my relationship suffered.

Alhamdullilah, this phase didn’t last too long.

I think it was my systems natural way of having an automatic reboot. A reboot I needed and refused to initiate, my system forced on me and I’m glad, cause right now, I feel so much better.

Now that I can say, I’m back awake, I took some time to reflect on my 2017 and how it has gone by. In the beginning of the year, my resolution was to grow. To  make deliberate choices that will aid a visible and conscious growth in my life. To find more ways to become happier this year. And as the year is coming to an end, I want to take out time to have some reflections on these choices and really figure out how well I’ve done this year.



Toxic friendship is something that is talked about all too often, and yet it is one of the hardest things to let go of. Identifying toxic friendships could be extremely difficult and dealing with them even more difficult. Cutting ties with toxic people, as hard as it can be, is essential to our self-care and happiness. I realized, for the sake of my mental health, taking a hard-line approach to toxic relationships was an important turning point in my attitude towards self-care.


Read How to deal with body shamers

I no longer had space, time or energy for people who didn’t return the love, care or support I gave to them. As a result, I had more room in my life to invite new people in; I’ve forged strong relationships with people who actually support and care for me. Ultimately, the people you associate with make or break you. That is why building community friendships is important.

If you’re dealing with people in your life who do not show you love and kindness or support you in any way. My advice is to first try to talk to them. Let them know how you feel and how their behavior is affecting you. If they refuse to acknowledge how you feel or refuse to listen, you can withdraw from the friendship. You don’t owe it to anyone to stay friends with them if all they do is take and take and take.



I have always loved myself. But this year, I took active measures to make sure people knew that I loved myself enough for me and that their love was just bonuses. I put myself first in all aspect of my life, I chose my happiness and my satisfaction first. That may seem selfish in some instances, but I came to the realization that it was okay to be selfish sometimes. When my health or happiness or peace of mind was at stake, I chose to be selfish and take care of my needs first.

As my job became too frustrating I quit. When my boss was too demanding, I told her off. That time my boyfriend acted sketchy, I put him in his place. And when my friends tried to outsmart me, I showed them my cards. Everyone had something to say about my new-found attitude, they complained that I was not as loving or as accommodating as I used to be. I agreed.


When you are finding it hard to achieve a good life balance and you always find yourself in situations you would rather not be in or doing thing you would rather not do or in places that don’t make you happy. That would be the perfect time to remind yourself that no one could love you better than yourself, that would be the time to pick yourself, learn to say no, and move on.



Yes, I’m not a pro at this and no I didn’t make this decision after reading smart money woman. (Although it’s a good read and everyone should totally read it.) Read a post about the book on Amaka’s blog Here. I made a conscious decision this year to be more sensible with my business and money. I tolerated less debts, and my friends and family had to pay for my services too. There was no exception. I calculated every penny I spent and made sure to understand the flow of cash in my life. How I made money and how I spent said money. I also gave investments a try to became more disciplined with my saving habits. All in all, even if I didn’t do much, I made sure I became more aware of my monies.

If you are looking at growing up, your finances are paramount to living a happy and fulfilled life. My advice won’t be to cut back on how you spend or become stingy with your money. Rather, I would say, be conscious, and be informed. Become an involved spender and earner. Know exactly how you make every penny and most importantly know exactly how you spend every penny. That is the first step to achieving financial growth. After that, all else follows.



I’m super glad to be back to blogging..

There’s always a sense of belonging and a peaceful feeling of appreciation I feel in the blogosphere. 2017 is coming to a close, I can definitely say that I have grown well in the past eleven months. While I have made mistakes (as per usual) I have also learnt a lot and hopefully taught somethings to a few people.






As usual, you know I love to hear from you, please tell me in the comments section.

What are your reflections as the year is coming to an end? How has the past eleven months been for you.



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  • Reply Oma December 30, 2017 at 12:34 am

    Beautiful post Salmah! ? I love. I can relate to virtually everything you have ‘said’ esp the part about finances. Tracking your finances and how you spend has a lot to do with growing up.

    Save some. Invest some.

    Your post just gave me this keyword “be an involved spender and earner”. Now it’s going to be
    Thankyou so much for sharing this❤️❤️. I’m waiting on 2018 like…

  • Reply Dee Awata December 29, 2017 at 11:45 am

    First off, you look absolutely amazing I have learnt so much this year and I can relate to letting toxic friendships go and loving myself more. Thanks for sharing as I know I am not alone here.

  • Reply Seky December 1, 2017 at 10:07 pm

    Thanks Salmah for this post. I’m having issues with quite a few friends, and you made the right point i need, I’m definitely gonna let Toxic friends go. Welcome back btw and you look amazing.

    • Reply Salmah December 2, 2017 at 12:04 am

      Thanks Seky. Do not forget to try talking to them first, see if they would understand your feelings, and if they would see how their actions are affecting you!

  • Reply Bee November 30, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    Thank you for blessing us with this post, I couldn’t agree more. Self love is such a necessity, it’s still a struggle for me but I know I’ll get there someday. Welcome back ?
    Bee recently posted…How to wear the boyfriend shirt My Profile

    • Reply Salmah December 1, 2017 at 7:37 am

      You will bee.. we will all get there! At the right time. Thank you Bee

  • Reply Kené November 30, 2017 at 7:54 pm

    hi salmah,
    this post was quite a reflective one . 2017 has been quite a year of tough growths for me, but i’m glad i came across this … i do believe that it gets better with time .
    Nice outfits , anyways . Good to have you back .
    Kené recently posted…TBP x Bibi’s Grill: The Bloggers’ Taster EventMy Profile

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:59 pm

      Thank you so much kene.
      And you are absolutely right, all gets better with time, as long as you make conscious choices to support your vision! Positive growth will surely occur!

  • Reply HELLO, I AM GIFT COLLINS November 30, 2017 at 7:48 pm

    This is a really beautiful post Salmah.
    It’s very important to let toxic people go before they contaminate you.
    I am glad you are back to blogging..
    Welcome back!

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:50 pm

      Thank you gift ooo! And yes to doing away with toxic people before the contaminate you!!

  • Reply Dammy November 30, 2017 at 10:50 am

    Very insightful, if only people will concentrate on reflecting on each choice they make, we could all actually learn to have a steady and positive growth-

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:38 pm

      Dammy! Thank you for reading! You are Absolutely correct!

  • Reply Nelson November 30, 2017 at 10:42 am

    Loved this post. Everything said is accurate. And you look adorable.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      Thanks dear.

  • Reply Asmau gudu November 30, 2017 at 9:01 am

    First time on your blog and am impressed. This is such an impactful post, I love that you didn’t just reflect on your choices, but also gave subtle and honest advice on how others can too. Great job.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      Thank you asmau, I hope you return!

  • Reply Gabriel November 30, 2017 at 7:15 am

    First of all, you look amazing. Secondly this is just the post that I needed. As 2017 is ending, we all need to reflect on our choices, celebrate our achievements and learn our lessons, and convict ourselves to do more, do better and be better in the new year to come. Cheers.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      Thank you Gabriel ! And yes, I agree with you, what we all should be striving for is how to be better people!

  • Reply Nana Umar dobi November 29, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    Best post I’ve read in a while.. you sure are back and refreshed. The money advice is so true! My own reflections is that I’ve come to appreciate my instinct more and trust myself more. It has really made things better for me and I hope to continue like this.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      Thank you nana! Money is truly an important part of keeping our self happy and well, and yes, our instincts remain our sharpest weapons! I’ve learned to almost always trust my instincts, 90% of the time, they are right!

  • Reply Grace Gigi November 29, 2017 at 7:00 pm

    This post is all shades of beautiful. I can totally relate as I am currently dealing with something similar. Hopefully I ‘wake up’ soon.

    Love your shoes too.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:35 pm

      Grace! I can assure you, you will deal with it! And you will come back better! Thank you for reading

  • Reply Fatima November 29, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    Salmah, you have made some wise points here, especially with letting toxic people go, it really is hard, but it is the best way to live a fulfilled life. Thanks for this lesson. That would surely be my new year resolution.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      Thank you Fatima. I pray we all take our resolutions seriously and stick to them for the rest of the year and life in general

  • Reply Hameedah November 29, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    I particularly love this post extra because a lot of us are short on self love; myself being the leader. Despite the FCAT that I know I Ned self love and honestly sometimes, I do really love myself, I know I’m not there yet. There’s a long way to go. I wish we all stop compromising our happiness especially to things and people not worth it . This is a beautiful growth Salmah, someday, hopefully soon, I’ll have my growth where and how I want it. You look adorbs and the style here is effortlessly street and chic. Welcome back baby.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:33 pm

      Hameedah, this means a lot to me, I can actually feel your honesty in this comment, first time you have honestly truly related to my post. Thank you so much!

      About growth, we are all still growing and we will keep growing insha Allah! One thing I’m sure of is, just as growth is constant, it is also steady, there is no first position in life, we will all get to our destined points at the time we should, not a moment before and not a moment late. May Allah lead us all on the right part!

  • Reply STYLEBEAT BY ZOBAM November 29, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    welcome back Boo … missed you . Nice article too

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:30 pm

      Zobam darling! Thanks

  • Reply Isabella November 29, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    As the year is coming to an end, I can definitely say I had a good year, better than 2016 and how I achieved that is by remaining totally unbothered about the things that I can’t change. Most of 2017, I refused to let life happen to me, I happened to life instead, I took charge and similar to you, I let go of Annoying relationships.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:30 pm

      Isabelle! You are a girl after my own heart! We should absolutely never let life happen to us, we must always take the bull by the horn and create our own destinies! Thank you for joining in

  • Reply Maryam November 29, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    You look amazing salmah. As for me, I made up my mind to stop making resolutions I would eventually forfeit in the middle of the year. I just try as much as possible to live life as it is thrown at me.

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:29 pm

      You are absolutely right Maryam! That is one of the few things I intend not to take into the new year!

  • Reply Debs November 29, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    Good to have you back babe! I missed your posts and I’m glad you are back.

    Such deep reflections and I love picked some lessons as well.

    And I see that shoe, love it!
    Debs recently posted…Weekly Ramble II: Anniversaries and WeddingMy Profile

    • Reply Salmah November 30, 2017 at 7:28 pm

      Thanks debbie! I’m glad to be back

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