REFLECTIONS

It’s been almost a month since I made a post. Almost a month till the year ends.  And it’s been six months since dearsalmah went live, I’m grateful for all the friends, readers and bloggers that have stuck with me. Reflections…

Something happened in this month of November that I still don’t fully understand..

I woke up, I went to work and hung out with friends, I laughed and loved and yet somehow my life was on a stand still. I was awake yet I was asleep. So my work suffered, my business suffered, my blog suffered, and my relationship suffered.

Alhamdullilah, this phase didn’t last too long.

I think it was my systems natural way of having an automatic reboot. A reboot I needed and refused to initiate, my system forced on me and I’m glad, cause right now, I feel so much better.

Now that I can say, I’m back awake, I took some time to reflect on my 2017 and how it has gone by. In the beginning of the year, my resolution was to grow. To  make deliberate choices that will aid a visible and conscious growth in my life. To find more ways to become happier this year. And as the year is coming to an end, I want to take out time to have some reflections on these choices and really figure out how well I’ve done this year.

I LET GO OF TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS

Toxic friendship is something that is talked about all too often, and yet it is one of the hardest things to let go of. Identifying toxic friendships could be extremely difficult and dealing with them even more difficult. Cutting ties with toxic people, as hard as it can be, is essential to our self-care and happiness. I realized, for the sake of my mental health, taking a hard-line approach to toxic relationships was an important turning point in my attitude towards self-care.

Read How to deal with body shamers

I no longer had space, time or energy for people who didn’t return the love, care or support I gave to them. As a result, I had more room in my life to invite new people in; I’ve forged strong relationships with people who actually support and care for me. Ultimately, the people you associate with make or break you. That is why building community friendships is important.

If you’re dealing with people in your life who do not show you love and kindness or support you in any way. My advice is to first try to talk to them. Let them know how you feel and how their behavior is affecting you. If they refuse to acknowledge how you feel or refuse to listen, you can withdraw from the friendship. You don’t owe it to anyone to stay friends with them if all they do is take and take and take.

I PRIORITIZED SELF LOVE

I have always loved myself. But this year, I took active measures to make sure people knew that I loved myself enough for me and that their love was just bonuses. I put myself first in all aspect of my life, I chose my happiness and my satisfaction first. That may seem selfish in some instances, but I came to the realization that it was okay to be selfish sometimes. When my health or happiness or peace of mind was at stake, I chose to be selfish and take care of my needs first.

As my job became too frustrating I quit. When my boss was too demanding, I told her off. That time my boyfriend acted sketchy, I put him in his place. And when my friends tried to outsmart me, I showed them my cards. Everyone had something to say about my new-found attitude, they complained that I was not as loving or as accommodating as I used to be. I agreed.

When you are finding it hard to achieve a good life balance and you always find yourself in situations you would rather not be in or doing thing you would rather not do or in places that don’t make you happy. That would be the perfect time to remind yourself that no one could love you better than yourself, that would be the time to pick yourself, learn to say no, and move on.

I TOOK CARE OF MY FINANCES

Yes, I’m not a pro at this and no I didn’t make this decision after reading smart money woman. (Although it’s a good read and everyone should totally read it.) Read a post about the book on Amaka’s blog Here. I made a conscious decision this year to be more sensible with my business and money. I tolerated less debts, and my friends and family had to pay for my services too. There was no exception. I calculated every penny I spent and made sure to understand the flow of cash in my life. How I made money and how I spent said money. I also gave investments a try to became more disciplined with my saving habits. All in all, even if I didn’t do much, I made sure I became more aware of my monies.

If you are looking at growing up, your finances are paramount to living a happy and fulfilled life. My advice won’t be to cut back on how you spend or become stingy with your money. Rather, I would say, be conscious, and be informed. Become an involved spender and earner. Know exactly how you make every penny and most importantly know exactly how you spend every penny. That is the first step to achieving financial growth. After that, all else follows.

I’m super glad to be back to blogging..

There’s always a sense of belonging and a peaceful feeling of appreciation I feel in the blogosphere. 2017 is coming to a close, I can definitely say that I have grown well in the past eleven months. While I have made mistakes (as per usual) I have also learnt a lot and hopefully taught somethings to a few people.

UPDATE: 

SHOES AND SWEATER: THRIFTED

BAG: ISLAND MARKET

SKIRT: MANGO 

TURBAN: INSTAGRAM SHOP

As usual, you know I love to hear from you, please tell me in the comments section.

What are your reflections as the year is coming to an end? How has the past eleven months been for you.