Would you date yourself? 

I was single for the longest of times, not cause of bad choices or cause i didn't see men, no, it was cause everyone i meet somehow didn't meet my standards, i was looking for Mr perfect instead of Mr right. I'll meet someone i really like and because of one little flaw, I'd start to dis attach myself from the person and soon enough am back to been alone. So sometime back, I was talking with a couple of friends and i was lamenting and saying, 'oh there are no good men out there' but they all looked at me and laughed and when i insisted in them telling me why they were laughing, they said "oh, nothing, it's just you are the reason why you are single''

When i begin setting standards for an ideal man, i go crazy, forgetting than indeed, even i wasn't perfect and even i might not meet someone else's set standards.

So that’s what I am asking you today. Can you date yourself? Do you posses all  your set standards of a perfect partner? Let’s take a minute and rack our brains. ‘WHO IS OUR PERFECT PARTNER’ you probably have all the basics at the tip of your tongue right, good looking, religious, loving?? But seriously, take a minute, think of it, what do you want in that perfect partner, there’s probably a long list of requirements yeah, its okay, no one is watching you, maybe you should take a piece of paper and write it down, i'll wait.

I'm just going to go out on a limb here and list a few things...

He/she should be...

  • Caring
  • Honest
  • Funny
  • Open minded
  • Genuine
  • Great listener
  • Confident
  • Respectful
  • Attentive
  • Generous
  • Shares your ideas and principles

Wait, that’s not all...

There’s also the physical aspect too right,and the other little things that you just can’t do without, so they should be…

  • Taller than you/ shorter/Slim body/athlete
  • Good looking
  • Wealthy
  • Smells good
  • Good in bed
  • Someone who cooks

What about how they react to situation?

Their behavior is important to you, you know how you will like them to handle situations and act in every occasion..

  • Do they get violent when angry?
  • Will they still show care when they are hurt?
  • Do they get excited about birthdays and anniversaries?
  • How bout during an argument? Are they a pushover or is it extremely hard to get them to back down?

Whew!! Finally, you know what you want, you have answered these questions, and you have set your standards, you have built yourself a dream partner there, perfectly fit for you, thank God. if you get this kind of partner, everything will be great, you won’t have any troubles at all, it will all be just fine, so long as they are exactly like you want them, right?

How desirable are you to yourself?

Check out my post on how to have a perfect date Here

Now, take a second look at your list, how many of these set requirements can you live up? Take your time, scan your list, and see how many you can tick off comfortably.

  • Are you always considerate even when you are angry?
  • Are you a generous person? How well can you cook?
  • Are you a good listener?
  • Do you always put your partners needs first?
  • Are you relaible?
  • How much are you willing to sacrifice?

It’s easier to set unrealistic standards when you look at things from afar. But take a closer look, it’s okay, no one is watching, you don’t need to hide in your face in shame because you can't meet up. If you take a closer look at things, you realize, we’re not all that different, what we all want are not so different, the other person wants a compassionate person as much as you do. We are all humans though, and its non negotiable that we should all be perfect, we were built to be flawed, and the next person is just as flawed as you are.



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  • Salmah says:

    Wow, in all honesty I think we are all 'a piece of work' we just have to find that one person willing to weather it all. Thanks Liz.

  • Labakeany says:

    I think I am a piece of work but rn I am dating someone that I think is more piece of work than I am so yes I can date myself. Loving someone isn't always easy when it's not your way. I basically say I have standards but now that I think of it, what really comprise of the standards I can't really say, all I know I want is trust, good communication, unwaving connection, love and interesting times they can be challenging too cause I love to better for myself and also my partner, support in all suitations like goof around with me even if it gets us slapped or something. All in all I don't want a perfect guy or according to the book relationships, life is more interesting than that.