Heartbroken! Heartbreaker, betrayal, fulfillment, bliss. Done it all and seen it all.
I started dating at a really young age, and ever since it’s just been a non stop roller coster of relationships for me. I’ve had my fair share of weird, amazing, cool, not so cool and downright awful relationship. The phases of my relationships included planning a life with someone, obsessing over exes, and even throwing myself into flirtationships where I became a boy-crazed mess. Eww! So at my very young age, I had already gone through so much.
I’ve learned a lot in these process but I decided it was time to learn about myself
And so after my last breakup, which ended on a pretty good ground (story for another day) I decided it was time to try this being single of a thing for a while, just so I could get to know myself better and ultimately become a better version of myself before diving back into the relationship pool.
It isn’t easy but I can say it’s definitely worth it. I learned so much and I couldn’t be prouder.
I mastered the art of loving myself: Guys come and go but you stay. Love yourself. Love your body and love your mind, it’s yours, if you don’t love it, why should anyone else? Being single actually upped my confidence, I started to love the things I used to be so worried about. With no one to consider, or be worried about what they would think it became clear real quick how amazing I truly am.
I learned the joy of freedom: Oh, freedom! The sweet song she sang. I cannot over emphasize the joy of not being accountable to anyone but yourself. I could post whatever I liked and eat and go out and sleep whenever I liked without having to explain myself or my process to another human being. When you have only yourself to hold you back? You really and truly learn about YOUR boundaries and limitations.
It’s okay to get a little bit lonely: It’s going to get lonely, lots of times. And that’s okay. You will think about an ex or what could have been, that’s okay too. Just remember not to edit out the sad or bad parts. Because if it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out for a reason. I was able to wean myself of the dreadful cycle of dependency and learned to enjoy my alone time, alone.
I learned to say No: Saying yes is great, but saying no is even better. I used to be such a yes man but being alone taught me a few things about boundaries and choosing myself. When I wasn’t comfortable with something, I said no. When I didn’t want to do something, I said no. It didn’t matter who or what, I learned to choose myself over and over and that is such bliss.
I discovered clarity: I may not know everything I want in a relationship right now, but I know all the things I do not want. Being single helped me really understand what it was that truly mattered to me and so it became impossible for me to settle. I know what I want and don’t intend to settle for anything else.
Even though I can’t truly say my days of making questionable dating decisions are over, I can say this much, I have realized how important it is to have a strong relationship with yourself first before bringing anyone else into the picture. And also rejecting the culture of entitlement in relationships. So when it doesn’t work out, I will be just fine. And when it does, well then, we’ll go one to make amazing and questionable decisions together.
That’s it guys! Share something you have learned being single or being in a relationship with me below!